Step 1: Faintly remember a childhood TV show from obscure trigger
Step 2: Look up theme song on Youtube, realize it IS as (corny/awesome/dated/straight ups creepy) as your memory
Step 3: Search for the toys on eBay that your allowance didn’t allowance when younger
Step 4: Recognition that the price has been jacked up enough that it’s not worth a purchase for the arbitrary sake of the purchase
Step 5: Inner child goes back to sleep, shave face, pay mortgage
Additionally, how to construct an effective 80′s style intro:
Highlight the collectible and highly varied nature of the show’s contents, in order to bring out a child’s primal need for collection.
Ignite a sense of mystery regarding the abilities of each
Cut to every human counterpart that properly relates to each of your show’s demographic
Be sure to throw in some godawful perky female with a rhyme like “hundreds of models from which to choose with emotion driven EPUs”
Create stakes using the always useful motif of good and evil
Reassure your audience with the overpowered most expensive toy main character that always manages to save the day without being in any actual danger or you could kill Optimus Prime once or twice every continuity
Launch into a secondary sub-theme song
Congrats you win
